How to Deal with Notes

Getting notes is like being punched in the nose and having to say “Thank you!” Revising is resetting the bone.

  1. Take a deep breath.
  2. Say “Thanks. These are really great,” in a clear, calm voice.
  3. Leave the room.
  4. Remove your fists from your pockets.
  5. Open your fists with the closest pair of pliers. Remember to pry one finger at a time. You can ask a close friend for help.
  6. Sit down.
  7. Slam your face on your desk, hard. This should release the clots building in your corpus callosum.
  8. Repeat “I’m not a bad writer” seventy-eight times.
  9. Stand up, go to the window.
  10. Do not open the window!
  11. You may find yourself opening the window. If this happens, start to dance the mashed potato. This will make climbing out the window difficult.
  12. Drink in the sunshine.
  13. Repeat “I am not a bad writer” eight-five more times.
  14. Rent “Clueless.” Enjoy it.
  15. Call your Mom.
  16. Wait a week. Watch “Clueless” again as necessary.
  17. Sit down at your desk. Crack your knuckles.
  18. Start rewriting.
  19. Share your rewrites.
  20. Repeat.

One comment

  1. I think perhaps #20 is the hardest part.
    Congratulations on your book. I just read and enjoyed your interview on Cynthia Leitich Smith’s blog.

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