Infrequently Asked Questions

  1. How high can you jump?
  2. Do you want me to use a coaster?
  3. You’re sober right now, aren’t you?
  4. Do you have time to take this call about switching to Verizon?
  5. Is your girlfriend open to cheating on you?
  6. How often do you pee, exactly?
  7. Where’s the best place in Baghdad to get great Mexican food?
  8. Is it quintuplets?
  9. Did you read that amazing article on Yahoo News?
  10. McDonalds or vegan?
  11. Have you heard about Hulu?
  12. Why is your apartment so hideous?
  13. Are you thinking about naked people right now?
  14. How badly do you want to hear about my dream in which you did not appear?
  15. Would you like to go back to my place and make out until I decide you should probably just go?
  16. Wanna see a cracker that looks like Shel Silverstein?
  17. Is there a monster behind me?
  18. Will you please stop massaging my feet?
  19. Why won’t Mom accept my friend request?
  20. What’s your AIM?
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