Terms and Conditions for the Apocalypse

You  may have seen on Facebook, or elsewhere on the interwebs, grumblings about Instagram’s Machiavellian new terms and conditions (which, chances are, you’ve already accepted).

Frankly, the fine print is disturbing. See below:

“By accepting terms/conditions User conveys essence or “Soul” (see: Soul Addendum, 2.2.1). Instagram may use, convert, publish, exploit, or otherwise sell or license User’s Soul to, by, for, or unto any and all Chaos Demons or UnderGods (See: Great Unfiltering, 8.4.2). Loss or damage to soul is the responsibility of the User. Souls of User’s friends may appear in special promotions, prepaid content, or “Hell Cages” (See: Facebook Addendum, 6.6.6.). No purchase necessary. The Dark is Rising. Cthulhu! Cthulhu!”

This– this– is why the Mayans eschewed social media.

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