Funny

Congrats to Quinn Sosna-Spear on her Debut Deal!

A huge congrats to Quinn Sosna-Spear on her debut deal with Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers! Guys this manuscript is so weird and wonderful, I can’t wait for you to read it.

From Publishers Weekly:

SosnaSpear Author PhotoLiz Kossnar at Simon & Schuster has acquired world rights to a debut novel by Quinn Sosna-Spear. Pitched as Charlie and the Chocolate Factory meets American Gods, The Mortician’s Son follows 12-year-old Walter’s travels in the stolen family hearse, through towns where people dress as fish, worship bees, and dig for living rocks, en route to meet the infamous inventor who mentored his father. Publication is planned for fall 2018; John M. Cusick at Folio Jr./Folio Literary Management brokered the deal.

You can find Quinn online @qsosnaspear and quinnsosnaspear.com.

Congrats to Don Zolidis on his debut deal!

From Publishers Weekly:

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Laura Schreiber at Disney-Hyperion has acquired playwright Don Zolidis‘s debut YA novel, The Seven Torments of Amy and Craig (A Love Story) , in a preempt. It’s a coming-of-age story set in 1994 Wisconsin, chronicling the on-again-off-again relationship of Amy and Craig, who come to understand each other better through multiple disastrous breakups. Publication date is projected for fall 2018; John M. Cusick of Folio Jr./Folio Literary Management brokered the six-figure, two-book deal for North American rights.

 

 

Not only is Don an incredible playwright (if you were a teen theater-geek in the past ten years, chances are you read one of his monologues), SEVEN TORMENTS is one of the straight up funniest things I’ve read in ages. Congrats Don!

A History of Glitter and Blood Halloween…

Happy Halloween! Plan to dress up? The team at Chronicle Books is going as Hannah Moskowitz‘s HISTORY OF GLITTER AND BLOOD…that is, famous people from history– bloody and glittery.

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Featuring HELLen of Troy, Creep-o-patra, Amelia SCARE-hart, Anna Psychopath-lova, Rosie the Ripper, Zelda Fitz-SCARE-ald,The Tudor Terror, Nancy KILL-igan, and HOG&B’s own editor Taylor Norman as BOOnie Parker…

Guys, these costumes are awesome, and so are you.

A Publishing Industry Glossary

by the inestimable Rick Walton

A Publishing Industry Glossary

 

Advance–the best proof that your project is moving forward.

ARC– a vessel you send out into the ocean of reviewers, hoping it floats instead of sinks.

Auction–a contest where two or more editors race to see who can show the most irrational exuberance.

Author–the costume a writer puts on when he goes to a cocktail party.

Backlist–books still in print, but which the publisher hides behind his back so they are hard to see.

Book–a rectangular device for immortalizing the person whose name is inscribed on it. Not to be confused with “headstone”.

Contract–a document which, if held to the same standards as its subject, would require serious editing.

Cover letter–a letter designed to cover the weaknesses in your manuscript.

Critique–hopefully advice to help you turn your pony into a racehorse, but too often the suggestion that you turn your pony into an alligator.

Designer–a person who proves that people do indeed judge a book by its cover.

Dialogue–what people might say in real life if it were edited for clarity, conciseness, and for necessity to the plot. In other words, nothing at all like what people say in real life.

Draft–a manuscript with still enough holes in it to let the wind blow through.

E-book–E stands for everyone, as in everyone now will think they can write a book.

Editor–a young woman with just slightly more power than God.

Editorial Board–a plank that your book is forced to walk by the captain of the publishing ship. Sometimes the book is allowed to come back and join the crew. But most of the time the book is pushed into the ocean.

Endpapers–a great place to write notes when you’re out of notepaper, which is why they should be plain white.

Fiction–what a writer tells himself to make him believe he can write something people will pay money for.

Graphic novel–a comic book that went to college.

Hardcover–the best kind of book to use as a murder weapon.

Imprint–one of the personalities exhibited in a publisher’s multiple personality disorder.

ISBN–Intercontinental Satellite-Based Nuke. What an author wishes they had access to when they get a bad review.

Jacket–an outer covering designed to make a cool book hot.

Line editing–editing that does not require you to wrap your mind around the whole plot, as substantive editing does, but which allows you to work while standing in the grocery store line, the bank line, the DMV line,…

Mass-market–a type of book that most of the time the masses, with great enthusiasm, ignore.

Option clause–a contract clause that gives you the option to either say, “No thank you, take it out.” Or, “Are you out of your mind? Take it out!”

Print on demand–polite people say “print on request”.

Publication date–a blind date set up between your book and the reader. You hope for a long-term relationship, but too often it results in your book being stood up.

Publisher–a company that is looking for something new and fresh as long as it has been done before.

Quill–if it was good enough for Shakespeare, it is good enough for you.

Reader–a very smart person who likes your book, or one who is not so smart who doesn’t.

Rejection–a necessary evil, unless it involves my manuscript, then it is a totally unnecessary wrong.

Remainder–also known as “reminder”. A step in the publishing process designed to remind you that you aren’t as hot as you were starting to think you are.

Royalty–a British term for when publishers send the author lots of small pieces of paper with pictures of royalty on them in exchange for publishing their books. American publishers kept the term, in spite of the fact that our small pieces of paper do not have pictures of royalty on them, because they are afraid that if it was called “president”, we would hear it as “precedent” and start expecting them to send us those little pieces of paper more often.

Typewriter–the best writing device ever to use as a murder weapon.

Unsolicited submission–a twisted form of attempted adoption where you give your dear child away to someone who doesn’t want it.

Vanity press–a variation of “van o’ depressed”. So-called because you end up depressed with a van full of books.

Young adult–the average age of editors today.